The Disguise
by Moonstar00125
Summary: What if Megamind's Holowatch hadn't malfunctioned on his date with Roxanne? What if it NEVER malfunctioned? Well, let's find out!
1. A Special Kind of Man

Roxanne and "Bernard" leaned forward, over the table, and kissed. This time, Roxanne's hand touched only "Bernard'"s hand, and the watch made no noise, didn't move, and stayed stationary. When they released, they smiled and looked into each others' eyes with love. Roxanne knew this was the man she wanted to be with forever.

***Break***

Roxanne looked down at the ring on her finger for perhaps the hundredth time that night, running her fingers over the strange stone just to make sure it was really there. Roxanne didn't know why Bernard had given her a ruby with a sapphire swirl as an engagement ring instead of a diamond, but she loved it far more than she ever would have loved a regular diamond.

Any man could think to get their fiancé a diamond ring, but only Bernard would give her something so wonderful, so unique, and so beautiful. She never wanted to take it off, ever, and she turned and told him that.

"I never want to take this ring off," Roxanne expressed to the man who was holding her around the waist as they sat, watching a movie in her apartment. It had been a year since that night in the restaurant. Of course, Megamind still ruled Metro City, and he was still evil, but most everything was normal, almost as if Metro Man was still alive.

A year ago Megamind had beaten Titan into the ground, which had broken the hearts of nearly all the citizens of Metro City, because then and there they knew there was no hope for Metro City to ever be the same. And yet, life went on. Roxanne was sort of glad Megamind had won. Hal had been very much like a stalker to her since high school, and now she had something to report about now and then.

If Megamind had lost, what kind of stories could a reporter run? That their city's new hero had saved a cat stuck in a tree? That would just be boring. But what confused her was that even though Megamind still held an iron fist over the city, crime rates were down. More and more crooks were being put in jail, and the streets were cleaner than ever.

"I'm so enthused!" Bernard told her, holding her tighter. She loved the way he hugged her, like he never wanted to let her go. Bernard had told her so many times that he didn't think Megamind was such a bad guy, maybe just misunderstood. Roxanne never knew what to say to that, because she could see how it might be true, while at the same time, she still held those old prejudices... Suddenly, from nowhere, something occurred to Roxanne.

"Bernard, what's your last name?"

His face went blank.

"Um...it's...ahh..." There was a sudden beeping sound, and he stood up, knocking Roxanne over by accident. "Oh, I'm sorry!" he cried, pulling her to her feet and planting a kiss on her lips before rushing towards the door. "I have to go! I'll see you tomorrow!"

"But—" But Bernard was already out the door and down the street. Roxanne sighed.

Why was he always dashing out at such inopportune times?

**Author Comments: **

**This is a story inspired by **

** http:/jenl****./art/Disguise-Generator-quot-fail-quot-187015537?q=boost%3Apopular+Roxanne+and+Bernard&qo=6**!

**XDXD, I couldn't resist! I hope it turns out well. Enjoy!**


	2. NOT THE NAMEPLATE!

"How did it go, Sir?" Minion asked as Megamind stepped into the lair, a huge smile on his blue face.

"Wonderful! Until just before you called!"

"Sorry, Sir."

"No, thank YOU, Minion!" Megamind insisted, letting the brainbots take his dress cape away and place his work cape on his shoulders. "Note to self, Minion; find out Bernard's last name!"

"Can't we just look through his pockets, Sir?"

Megamind halted.

"I hadn't thought of that! Note to self Minion; search thoroughly through Bernard's pockets! Now, what did you call me away for?"

"There's been a disturbance downtown, near Town Hall."

"Oh, whoever they are had better not touch my nameplate!" Megamind exclaimed, then checked over the exact coordinates. "Roxanne doesn't live far from there! We'd better get over there, quickly!" Minion nodded and grabbed two jetpacks, handing one to Megamind and activating his own.

***Break***

Megamind slipped into the shadows as police sirens began to sound and people began to filter from their homes. The only thing anyone would have seen of the mysterious new hero around Metro City was the end of a black cape, disappearing into an alleyway.

Megamind high-fived his friend Minion, and the two activated their jetpacks' invisibility feature before taking off.

No one would ever know it was them.

**Author Comments: **

**EXCEPT US! XDXD, Because the narrator (ie, Me) KNOWS ALL! So Megamind is a hero in disguise, hm? Hmmm...**


	3. Ishoeihorpwafas

"How do you pronounce this?" "Bernard" asked Minion, holding up the driver's license he'd found in Bernard's wallet.

"Ishoeihorpwafas?" Minion asked, pronouncing it phonetically, then shrugged. Megamind sighed.

"Grrr..." Megamind growled. Such an awkward last name coupled with such a simple first name! Would Miss Ritchi be displeased with his last name? Would she refuse to take it, or worse, refuse to marry him because of it? But he couldn't make up a name, he was a predetermined person with a predetermined history, or at least birth certificate! If she found something the old Bernard had in his name, she'd know something fishy was going on—she was too smart!

"It'll be fine, Sir," Minion soothed, sensing Megamind's anxiety. "I doubt Miss Ritchi will care what your last name is. Though I am surprised she hasn't asked you before, or discovered who you really are—"

"Minion, shoosh!" Megamind exclaimed, drawing out the u into an oo. For a second he had thought he'd heard something, but quickly realized it was just a brainbot smacking into something. Megamind sighed in releif, and also in agreement. "I sue-pose you're right, Minion," Megamind told his fishy friend. "Maybe I should just relax..."

Megamind was glad Minion was still with him. The day Megamind had defeated Titan, he'd been very badly hurt, and as it turned out, Minion had been watching the whole time via TV. When he'd seen the state his boss had left the fight in, he'd rushed straight to the lair, and after many months... This. Megamind's goal in life now was to make sure Roxanne never figured out who he really was, and to make sure she was safe.

Secretly, of course.

Minion didn't approve of the plan, but he went along with his boss because that was what he was sent with Megamind to do; to take care of him. He disagreed with the plan to be good as much as he had once disagreed with Megamind's decision to be evil.

It was funny how things could change over a course of fifteen+ years.

***Break***

"Ishoeihorpwafas," Bernard stated, greeting Roxanne.

"What?" she asked, sitting down beside him. They were picnicking in the park today.

"My last name. I never had the chance to tell you."

"Your name is Bernard Ishoeihorpwafas?" Roxanne asked, struggling to get the whole thing out. Bernard reached up and scratched the back of his neck, smiling awkwardly.

"I could never pronounce it either," he "admitted." "And you know, if you don't want to take it, it's fine if—" He stopped talking when Roxanne threw her arms around him.

"I like it," she told him. "It's different. Just like you." "Bernard" smiled in surprise and slowly reciprocated the hug. It had always amused Roxanne how much it surprised Bernard, her friend—her _boy_friend—No, her _fiancé_—when she hugged him. He was so sweet and cute and lovable.

"I want to have the wedding soon—as soon as possible," she said, hugging him tighter, and "Bernard" smiled in wonder and delight.

"I love you Roxanne Ritchi," he whispered.

"I love you Bernard," she answered swiftly, not wanting to take the time to sound out his last name. Just then, at that moment, everything was perfect.

And Megamind couldn't believe it was actually happening.

**Author Comments:**

**Awww...**

**Awkward last name, huh? XDXD, VELVY! She made me do it...XDXD :D**


	4. Secretly Shotgun

"Does it look alright?" "Bernard" asked "Larry" as he fumbled with the bowtie he wore about his neck.

"You look fine, Sir," Minion assured Megamind through his own disguise. "Now shush; the bride is coming!" Megamind and Minion stepped to opposite sides of the platform, and waited. As music began to play, "Bernard"'s eyes lit up, and everything about him brightened as he saw Roxanne, in a long, flowing white dress and veil, enter the room. She was beautiful, and the sight of her walking down the aisle took his breath away.

As she made her way up the steps to stand beside him, he whispered, "You look amazing."

"And you look dashing," she replied, her eyes bright with love and happiness. They joined hands, and turned to listen to the minister.

"I do," Bernard said when it came time, and Roxanne repeated,

"I do," when it came her time.

"Then you may kiss the bride," the minister announced, shutting his book. Bernard turned to Roxanne and lifted the veil from her face before leaning down to kiss her. Neither of them could have been happier. They were married! They were _really_ married!

Neither of them saw, but from where he was standing, the human Minion shed a single tear before wiping it away.

***Break***

"I have something to tell you," Roxanne said as Bernard set her down, still in her wedding gown, on her bed.

"What's that?" he asked, somewhat breathless from carrying her up through the building.

"I'm pregnant!"

Author Comments:

**Awww! And WOAH! What will this incur? Hmm...**


	5. Stumbling To The Starting Line

For a second, Bernard's face was frozen in a look of surprise, and Roxanne felt worried. Then, slowly, he started to smile, then laugh. "That's wonderful!" he cried. "That's absolutely marvelous!"

"I'm so glad you think so!" Roxanne laughed in relief, pulling her new husband down beside her on the bed. "I know we had never discussed having children before, and—" Bernard swooped down and kissed her before she could say anything else.

"I'm just happy to be with you," Bernard expressed, and Roxanne looked lovingly into his eyes before he swept her up in his arms and swept the bed curtains shut.

***Break***

"So what DO you think of having a baby?" Roxanne asked later as they lay side-by-side on the bed.

"I don't know," Bernard admitted, taking her hand. "I had never thought of it before, really. I never thought...before…that I would ever be married, or even have a girlfriend. I guess having kids never crossed my mind."

"Are you happy about it?" Roxanne asked, snuggling closer.

"Of course! Now I can't wait to meet the little guy—or girl. I just can't wait to be a father! Oh no!" A look of pure horror crossed Bernard's face, and he sat straight up.

"What? What is it, what's wrong?" Roxanne asked, sitting up after him, now worried as well.

"Oh no, I'm going to be a terrible father!" Bernard moaned, hands going up to cover his face.

"That's nonsense!" Roxanne assured him. "You'll be a wonderful father!"

"But I don't know the first thing about cheldren or taking care of a tiny person! Oh, maybe you shouldn't have married me, Roxanne—I'm no good at anything!"  
"That's absurd!" Roxanne scolded. "It's _children__,_ and it's no good thinking such terrible things! We're already married, we're going to have a baby, and you'll be the best father there is!"

"Are you sure?" Bernard asked uncertainly.

"I've never been more certain."

"Maybe you're right," Bernard allowed, coming around, and Roxanne smiled up at him.

"Of course I am. I'm always right."

"Oh _really__?_" he asked playfully, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

**Author Comments:**

**Just a tiny little chapter depicting "Bernard's" reaction to the news through Roxanne's POV. :P**


	6. Facts Don't Lie

"I'm going to be a **father,** Minion!" Megamind cried, bursting through the lair door.

_"What!"_ Minion cried, standing fast.

"I know, isn't it _great?_" Megamind cried, throwing himself into his high-backed leather chair and swiveling around the room a few times. "Roxanne is already two months along! She went to the doctor to see why she was sick in the mornings, and—"

"Sir!" Minion exclaimed, voice a few octaves too high as he rushed over to stop his Master's swiveling. "This is terrible, this is horrendous, the worst thing that could have ever happened!"

"Minion, I can't make _that_ bad of a Dad!" Megamind said, crossing his arms and looking poutily up at his fish friend.

"Sir, this baby will blow your entire cover!" Minion explained, desperation in his voice. "If Miss Ritchi has your baby, she'll know who you really are!"

"It's not like she's really having _my_ baby, Minion, she's having _Bernard's_ baby!"

"But she's _not_ having Bernard's baby. Sir; _you're_ the one under the disguise!"

"So?" Megamind asked, as dangerously clueless as usual.

"_Sir!_ If Roxanne Ritchi has this baby, with _your_ DNA, she will know, without a doubt, that you are _not_ Bernard!" Minion shouted, spelling it out for his boss, and Megamind's face lit up with terror and recognition as the fish made it painfully clear what, exactly, was going on. "You are the _only_ blue person with an abnormally large, bald head on this _planet__!_ The odds that your child will have one, if not _all_ of those traits, are so high that the percentage of the failure rating can't even be recounted by the average _computer__!_"

"Oh no!" Megamind lamented, the swivel completely gone from his mood. "Oh no, Minion; Minion I have to tell Miss Ritchi; I have to find some way to tell her before the baby comes, or she'll hate me forever!"

**Author Comments:**

**Oh, Megamind, you clueless fool...*Shakes head* XDXD, Megamind is in trooouuublllleee...And Minion even had to spell it out for him. :/**


	7. The Kid's Got Wicked Timing

"Roxanne! Roxanne, wake up, I need to tell you something!" Megamind hissed in Bernard form, shaking her into wakefulness.

"What is it?" she mumbled, lifting her head slightly and opening bleary eyes.

"Roxanne, I need to tell you something, something very important that—"

"Can it wait until morning?" Roxanne asked, glancing over at the bedside clock, proclaiming that the hour was 1 AM.

"Well I suppose so, but—"

"So tell me then," she grumbled, rolling back over.

"But what if I forget!"

"If it's as urgent as you make it sound, I'm sure you couldn't possibly forget."

"But—"

"Goodnight, Honey," Roxanne said, closing the discussion, and she was asleep again in seconds. She hadn't really woken up completely in the first place. Megamind sighed. If she thought he couldn't forget something that important, she must not have known him as well as she thought.

"Oh, I'm such an imbiss—ile!" he berated himself quietly. "Of course she doesn't know me as well as she thinks! She doesn't even know who I really am! I'm such an idiot!" Then he lay back in bed and closed his eyes. He planned to stay awake so that he would remember, but of course he was exhausted, and sleep overcame his will to stay conscious.

Just as he suspected, he forgot all about it the next morning. He forgot until the most inopportune time, when there was no way he could tell her. And that was how it happened every time.

Every time he would try to tell Roxanne the truth of who he was, something would happen. Someone would interrupt, something would get in the way, too many people would be in the room, the phone would ring, he'd have to jet off to stop the newest criminal of Metro City in secret, his mood or hers would suddenly plummet—it was always something. Secretly, at the very back of his mind, a secret, subconscious part of him that even Megamind didn't even know about, he was glad every time he didn't get to tell her. He didn't want to tell her, didn't want her to know that he'd been lying this whole time.

Minion asked every day when Megamind stopped by the lair if Roxanne had been told, and the answer was always no. Minion grew more and more worried by the day, and as the due date approached, he knew that if Megamind didn't tell Roxanne, something bad would happen. As the eighth and then ninth month of Roxanne's pregnancy arrived, Megamind became more and more aware that with each passing day time was being wasted. So it was that one day he sat Roxanne down, determined to let nothing get in the way this time. Whether she hated him afterward or not, it would be better to find out from him than from the baby itself.

***Break***

"Roxanne, I have something very, _very_ important to tell you," "Bernard" said, watching as Mrs. Ishoeihorpwafas sat down opposite him on the couch.

"What's wrong?" Roxanne asked.

"Roxanne, I'm about to tell you something that will shock you, and will probably make you hate me." Roxanne gave a small cry of protest as a bolt of pain raced through her. "No, I know what you're going to say, that nothing I do could make you hate me, but this is something that will change everything about how you look at me, and I think—"

"Bernard," she said quietly, but he just kept talking.

"—that it's better you learn this sooner rather than later, and I want you to know that—"

"Bernard," she said again, more urgently, clutching her stomach.

"—I love you, and—"

"Bernard!" Roxanne cried, and Megamind stopped, looking up at her. Worry suddenly crossed Bernard's features as he realized that she was in pain.

"What is it, are you OK, are you alright?"

"The baby!" Roxanne cried.

"What about it?"

"It's coming!" Roxanne shouted, and her husband completely flipped out.

"OHMYGOD WHATDOIDO AREYOUALRIGHT WHATDOIDO DOINEEDTOCALLSOMEONE WHATDOIDO?" he shouted, bug-eyed.

"Just calm down," Roxanne soothed, cringing as a spasm racked her body. "Call an ambulance!"

"What's the number for 911!" he called, picking the phone up frantically and fumbling with it in the air.

"911!" she called back, and couldn't help but be slightly amused by his absurdity.

"Oh, right!" he shouted, and quickly dialed the number. Within moments, paramedics were arriving and loading Roxanne into the back. As they prepared to drive off, Megamind gave it one last shot. "Roxanne, I need to tell you something!"

"It can wait until later!" she insisted, her breathing heavy and her face contorted in pain.

"No, it can't, I've been trying to tell you for seven months, and I need to tell you, before the baby arrives—" A hard hand closed over his shoulder and began dragging him back as a paramedic shut the door. "ROXANNE! ROXANNE I NEED TO TELL YOU! I NEED TO TELL YOU THAT I'M NOT REALLY BERNARD, I'M—" But the ambulance was already off down the street. Megamind tried to run after the vehicle, but the same hand was still restraining him, and he looked up to see Minion, one robotic hand clenched on his shoulder.

"Minion let me go, I need to get to the hos-pit-all!" Megamind cried, running against the gorilla-robot-fish's grip and coming up unsuccessful. "And what if someone had seen you!"

"Sir, I can't let you go! It's my job to protect you, and since you won't tell Miss Ritchi who you really are, I'm here to do just that!"

"But she needs me, Minion, I have to be there for her! I can at least tell her in the hos-pit-all! And I was just about to tell her when you pulled me away!"

"Sir, if you go and tell her while she's in labor, it might kill her—and if it doesn't, or if you're there when the baby is born, I don't think you'll be very well off yourself."

"But she _needs_ me, Minion! I want to be there when our son or daughter is born! I order you to let me go!"

"No, I won't allow it, Sir!"

"Then you're fired!"

Minion's face went dark, and he nodded slowly.

"Fine, if that's how you want it to be, Sir," he stated, releasing Megamind from his grip and sending the man's disguised form stumbling into the asphalt.

"It is!" he shouted.

"Then have fun with your newly broken home!" Minion called over his shoulder, turning to leave.

"Because I can!" Megamind called after him.

"That doesn't even make _sense__!_" Minion exclaimed, not for the first time, clearly upset.

"I know!" Megamind called after his former minion, and watched as the fish-robot-gorilla disappeared into the night, before turning and heading for the hospital.

**Author Comments:**

**Oh Megamind, you're such an adorable spaz. :D So fun to write about your spazzy moments. :)**

**OH NOEZ! What will happen to Minion? Will Megamind get there in time? Will Roxanne still love him when she finds out? Will anything ever be the same? WILL MOUNTAIN DEW EVER STOP TASTING SO GOOD! No. No it will not. :D**


	8. I Am NOT An Adulteress

Roxanne cried out in pain, her breathing quick as another contraction swept over her. "You're doing great!" A doctor informed her. "I can already see the... Head." But Roxanne wasn't paying attention.

"Bernard!" she cried out, and not for the first time. Where was he? Why wasn't he there with her, why didn't they let him ride in the ambulance with her, what was it he had to tell her that was so important! These questions flashed in her mind as another spasm flooded her. She was in so much pain! She'd heard giving birth hurt, but was it supposed to be _this_ bad?

"You're almost done," The doctor stated calmly, and one last pain shot through her before it was over. It was over and Bernard wasn't there. Where was he? Roxanne's head flopped back on the pillow before she could see or hear anything more.

At last, she gave in to darkness.

***Break***

Roxanne's eyes opened blearily, her head pounded, and she sat up as soon as she remembered where she was. "Where's Bernard?" she asked the nurses. "Where's my baby?" A cluster of nurses was huddled nearby, one of them holding a tiny blue bundle that she knew had to be hers. It must have been a boy! Why else would they use blue?

At first the nurses didn't move, and Roxanne asked again, "could I hold him?" Slowly, the head nurse broke away from the gaggle and gently put the baby in her arms. Roxanne took the bundle carefully and unwrapped the section of the blanket covering its face, before gasping in shock. Her baby...her baby was blue!

It wasn't the deathly shade of blue someone took on when they held their breath or stayed in frigid water too long. It was a bright, vivid blue, and his head was large, larger than any baby's Roxanne had ever seen. His head was completely bare, and nothing made sense. In her state of recent awakening and emotional upset, nothing made sense.

"Do you know what you'll name him?" asked the nurse.

"Quade," Roxanne answered absently, gazing down at the sleeping infant in her arms. "Quade Anthony." The nurse nodded and wrote something down, and when she turned to go, Roxanne caught her arm. "Wait, I don't understand—why is he blue? Why is my baby blue? I don't..." The nurse gave her a half-sympathetic glance and put her dainty hand on Roxanne's arm.

"I think we all know why your baby's blue Roxanne. And I don't think your husband will be very pleased. If I were you, I don't think I could live with myself. Then again, if I were you, I never would have been with Megamind."

"But I never—" But the nurse ignored her weak protests and simply walked off to whisper with the other nurses in her southern belle accent, leaving Roxanne gazing down at her son in confusion. How could—why would—what could possibly—it didn't make sense.

That was when Bernard burst through the door, shaking off several orderlies and flinging himself at Roxanne's side. "Roxanne! Roxanne are you alright, where's the baby!" Roxanne gave him a look that stopped him dead in place, and he knew.

"He's right here," Roxanne said softly, nodding down at the tiny thing. "But I need you to tell me something, Bernard. Why is our baby blue?" "Bernard" opened his mouth, but no words came out. So he tried again.

"I tried to tell you, Roxanne," he told her, taking her arm, which she quickly pulled away from him. "I wanted to tell you, but I knew you'd be angry, and I tried to tell you in the ambule-ance, but then Minion came and—"

"I don't _want_ excuses, Bernard," Roxanne said in a shaky but level voice. "I want you to look me in the eye and tell me the truth!" Bernard stared at her for a second before reaching to the watch he had always, always, _always_ worn, and turned the dial as he looked Roxanne straight in the eye. She looked away as he turned into who he really was, and the nurses gasped.

"I'm Megamind," he told her, and Roxanne couldn't even look at him. "Roxanne, I wanted to tell you, I was going to tell you—"

"Why?" she asked, chancing to look him in the eye again. "Why would you do this to me? What could have possibly possessed you to do this?"

"I—"

"I don't want to know," she told him, lying back on her pillow in defeat, still holding tight to the baby in her arms. "Just leave, Megamind. Just go. I'll just find out some other day."

"But—"

"Go!"

"But our son—"

"Leave!" she ordered, clenching her jaw as she spoke, and Megamind stood.

"I love you," he said softly, kissing her hand and Quade's bald head before he left.

Roxanne didn't look up when the door swung shut. She didn't want to look up. She didn't want to do anything but lie there in pain. Confusion was the only thing close to what she felt. Confusion.

And agony.

**Author Comments:**

**WAAAAAAAAAHHHH! **

**Will Megamind and Roxanne make up? Will Roxanne come to her senses? Will Quade Anthony Ishoeihorpwafas grow up without a father? AND WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO!**


	9. A Mother's Quandry

Roxanne walked down the street, Quade Anthony Ishoeihorpwafas clutched tight to her chest, again asleep. He was definitely the quietest newborn Roxanne had ever met. She loved the little baby with all her heart, because he was her baby, born of her flesh and blood, and nothing could stop that.

But when she looked into her little boy's face, Roxanne wasn't sure how to feel. She loved her son, but his face...his face was everything like Megamind's face—in fact, every inch of him looked exactly like his father, his _real_ father.

Just the thought of what Megamind had done made her ears turn red.

Before she could dwell on the subject, however, a gloved hand appeared before her, spraying something acrid into her mouth and nose before she fell back, consciousness leaving her body as she and Quade were dragged into the alley.

**Author Comments:**

**Has Megamind kidnapped Roxanne? Or is it someone else? Will she be OK? What about Quade? Where the heck did I put Minion? And most importantly—WHO HERE LOVES QUADE ANTHONY'S NAME?**


	10. Let's Get Dangerous!

Megamind stood and made his way slowly to the door of the lair, not thinking about who could be outside. He just wanted to be left alone to mope in peace!

As the door opened, Minion burst in, and Megamind looked a bit startled. "Minion!" he cried.

"Sir, Sir, Miss Ritchi's been kidnapped!" Minion cried.

"What!"

"I was walking through the allies earlier today when I saw Miss Ritchi and the little baby, and I thought maybe I'd say hi, though looking back that wouldn't have been the best decision if I had been able to, since of course Roxanne probably hates your—"

"Get to the pont, Minion!" Megamind cried.

"Point, Sir, and fine. I was about to go and say hi to Miss Ritchie and congratulate her on her new baby, when suddenly someone ran up and knocked me over. When I fell, my spare can of knock-me-out gas rolled a few feet away, and the guy who knocked me down grabbed it, and before I could do anything he was pulling Miss Ritchi and the baby away!"

"Why didn't you stop him Minion?" Megamind yelled, his face turning purple in anger. "Whoever it is has Roxanne, and even worse, they have Quade! You could have grabbed them and snapped their assumedly scrawning necks without any problem, and instead you decided to tell me!"

"It's scrawny, Sir, and I couldn't think of anything else to do!"

"Quick, Minion, go scout out the area where you last saw them before I do something brash!" he commanded, pointing for the door, and Minion nodded, giving a small salute as he jogged backwards out the door.

"Brainbots!" Megamind called, casting his moping-cape aside. "Get Daddy his working cape!"

**Author Comments:**

**I find this chapter to be suspenseful and cute at the same time! :b What do you think?**


	11. That Bastard Stole My Look!

Roxanne blinked her eyes open to find herself bound to a chair and gagged with a wet cloth. At first, not completely sure of where she was, Roxanne was angry, furious even. How DARE Megamind kidnap her, Quade and all, so soon after she discovered his secret! How DARE he put their baby in danger like this, only a day and a half old!

She began to yell at the shadows of the room, sure Megamind, as always, was lurking among them. It sounded something like this:

"MEHAHI YO IHUHERAHER HAHER, YO HO YUR HA HI IHNAN! I WA-A WORR WIH YO! HU'D BEYA—"

"Getting angry are we, my sweet?" came a voice as a tall man stepped from the shadows. Roxanne's face went blank and dead, her eyes widening in surprise and terror.

"You're not Megamind!" she exclaimed as the gag was removed, and the man laughed.

"Of course I'm not! And soon I'll be able to make sure you never make that mistake again, Roxie."

"DON'T call me that!" Roxanne warned. This new villain cackled.

"Oh, touchy about are name, are we? Well I'm sure that will change after you've seen the public broadcast I plan to show the entire city after Megamind's demise!"

"You'll never get away with this! Justice will always prevail!" Again, the villain, tall with black hair and reddish-brown eyes, let out a blood-curdling laugh.

"Oh, I don't think it will, Roxie. There's no one to save you, Metro Man and Tighten are dead, your husband isn't real, and Megamind—well, we can't have our secret hero here still alive when I take his place, can we?"

"Secret hero?" Roxanne asked in confusion. Was this guy off his rocker? Megamind was the city's overlord, what could he mean by—

_CRASH!_ The wall exploded in a cloud of brick dust and mortar clouds, and Roxanne choked as the mixture settled in her throat, eyes watering as it invaded her corneas. When her vision cleared, she was surprised to see Megamind standing in the space where the wall had been.

"Megamind?" she whispered.

"Ollo!" he said, holding up his de-gun and stepping inside a few paces, his eyes never leaving the villain. "It seems you've taken two somethings that belong to me, and I'd like them back!"

"You mean your wife and child?" The villain asked, smirking.

"No," Megamind answered. "I mean my son and my look—seriously! Why do you keep coming back, you're like a little worm or something, and in my signature cape, too! And what's wrong with you anyway, kidnapping a new mother and a newborn? What kind of a villain does that? You know, most of us try and keep up some sort of reputation, and kidnapping any child under the age of five goes completely against the code of villainy!"

The villain looked a little confused, and Roxanne could help but be amused as she watched Megamind scold the other villain, who was both taller and larger than himself.

"What are you going to do about it?" the other villain snapped.

"Well first, you're going to tell me where Quade is. Then I'm going to dehydrate you. After that, I'll take my son and his mother home, and drop your cube off at the prison."

"And if I tell them who defeated me?" Megamind gave him a sarcastically sympathetic look.

"I'm sorry, Titos, but you must be delerious. Megamind you see, he's our city's evil overlord. He can't be a hero. The only thing he's capable of is villainy." Titos narrowed his eyes, and Roxanne looked questioningly between the two. Was _that_ how Megamind felt? That he couldn't do any good? That he was worthless as everything but a villain? Was _that_ why he had lied to her? Because he knew she wouldn't like him if she knew?

Then Roxanne shook it off, or at least partially. Megamind had lied to her, and tricked her. She couldn't be feeling sorry for him—could she?

"Well, Titos; where is he?" Megamind demanded. Titos smiled and put a hand in his pocket.

"Oh I'll tell you—after you're dead!" He whipped a strange looking gun from his pocket, and fired right at Megamind. Roxanne flinched and looked away. There was silence before Titos erupted in maniacal laughter, which halted just before Roxanne looked up. Titos glanced back over his shoulder.

"Ollo," a familiar voice quipped, and Roxanne saw Titos fly back, his cheek turning red with the impact, but she saw no one. Then she felt something playing with her hands, and screamed in surprise and fear as Megamind flickered back into view in front of her. "Well you need to be untied somehow!" he protested, fiddling with her bindings. "And I'm sorry I'm no Metro Man, but—"

"MEGAMIND!" she screamed, and he winced.

"WELL YOU DON'T HAVE TO YELL AT ME!" he yelled back.

"MOVE!" she cried, looking over his shoulder to where Titos stood, holding a huge screen in his hands.

"I know you hate me, but you don't have to be so hostlil—"

_CRASH!_ The screen came down on his big blue head, and Roxanne couldn't look as she heard the glass breaking and Megamind's cry of surprise and agony.

**Author Comments:**

**YAAAYYY CHAPTER ELEVEN IS IN! :D OH NOEZ, IT'S A NEW SUPERVILLAIN, AND HE HAS QUADE! Is Megamind dead or seriously injured? Will Roxanne manage to escape? Will Titos be defeated? Will Metro Man make an appearance in this story? Where the HECK did I put Minion THIS time! And most importantly—OOH, IS THAT MOUNTAIN DEW! GOTTA GO, BYE!**


	12. Just Go Home

"OW, MY _GIANT_ BLUE HEAD!" Megamind cried, clutching his head and turning to look at his attacker. He kicked out, pulling Titos' feet from under him and sending him crashing to the ground. Roxanne felt relief flood through her as she watched. He was alright!

"Go Megamind!" she cried, egging him on as he whipped out his de-gun and stepped over Titos' downed form.

"Now where is he?" Megamind growled, shoving his baby-seal-leather-boot-clad foot down on Titos' throat and pointing his weapon down at the man's chest.

"I'm not—" Titos began, but Megamind wasn't in the mood for games. He pushed harder with his foot, constricting Titos' airflow and causing his face to slowly turn red, then blue as he struggled for air.

Roxanne had never seen Megamind like this. He'd been angry before, she'd been afraid of him before (in the early years, or, more truthfully, months), but never, not once, had she ever seen him so dangerously over-the-edge. It was like he was a whole new person! And it scared her, that in only the last few days, she had seen so many sides of Megamind.

She thought she had known him, this big-headed, blue-skinned, alien-villain. She thought she had known every inch of Megamind (well, nearly), every twist and turn he could take. She had thought he was predictable. But now, watching him stand over this new villain Roxanne had never even heard of, she realized that she didn't know Megamind. She didn't know him half as well as she thought she did, and even more surprising, even more startling to realize, was that she _did_ know him, at least part of him, and she knew that this wasn't like him.

"Stop!" she shouted, and Megamind looked up in surprise, the anger fleeing from his face as he realized where he was. "You're going to kill him!" Megamind looked back down, and blushed as he lifted his foot, embarrassed at his violent reaction.

"Now where is my son?" Megamind asked, kneeling down, shoving the de-gun against Titos' throat.

"Right...right there!" Titos pointed, regaining breath, and Megamind stood, walked to the panel indicated, and pressed a few buttons. The wall suddenly began to turn, unfolding on a small nursery, which confused Roxanne. Why would a villain keep an infant in a nursery?

Then Titos sat up, and began to stand. "Megamind!" she called, and Megamind turned immediately, anger flashing across his brow again as his de-gun came up to meet Titos.

"You can get back on the ground, or you can be disintegrated!" he warned.

"Wait!" Titos cried, holding up his hands. "Sir, it's me!" Titos grabbed his left wrist, on which sat a clunky watch, and they both watched as Titos flickered three times before becoming, of all people, Minion.

"Minion!" Megamind cried in surprise, leaning back and clutching the panel behind him, his hand reaching to his forehead. "Oh, of all people! Why did you have to go and turn evil and weren't you with me when I fought Titos last time?" he asked, suddenly confused. Roxanne was just as confused as ever, and Minion nodded.

"Yes, Sir. I'm sorry about everything. I hurt you and Miss Ritchi a lot when I didn't let you go with her, and I couldn't stand to see you so upset. I thought maybe if I kidnapped Miss Ritchi and Quade—"

"Minion, go home," Megamind groaned, and Roxanne saw a look of pure anguish cross his face. "I thank you for your sentiments, but I'm sure nothing you could do could change anything at all, Minion." Minion nodded and turned

"Yes, Sir," he acquiesced, heading out the door. Roxanne watched as Megamind turned to the nursery wall, picked up a sleeping Quade, and turned. He untied Roxanne and grabbed her around the waist in one arm, still holding Quade Anthony Whateverhislastnameis in his other, and turned on the jetpack, headed for Roxanne's apartment.

When he refused to meet her eye, Roxanne felt her heart break.


	13. That Thick Head DID Save His Life

Megamind set Roxanne down on her balcony and carefully handed her their son, who was now awake but still groggy. Megamind waited to make sure she got inside safely, and before she went inside, Roxanne turned towards Megamind.

"I'm...changing my last name," she told him, and he nodded, still unable to meet her gaze, his features overladen with pain.

"I thought you might, Miss Ritchi."

"Actually, I'm changing it to Mrs. Ritchi." Megamind looked up in pain and confusion, aghast.

"So you've already met someone else? And with your former last name! I thought you'd move on, Roxanne, but I didn't think you'd get remarried within two days of finding out!" Roxanne smiled a little, which caused Megamind no end of pain. "Can I at least know who it is you're going to be mar-e-ing?" he asked.

"First I want to know what Minion meant about you being the town's secret hero," she told him, and he groaned.

"Fine, while we were...dating, I wanted to keep you safe and every time someone threatened the town I sent them to jail. Happy?" For some reason, Roxanne wasn't very surprised. Of course, she _was_ surprised, the city's overlord being their secret superhero was nothing to laugh at, but she wasn't as surprised as she thought she would be. "Now, your new huss-band?" Megamind asked, putting a bitter spin on the final word.

"Well," Roxanne said softly, rearranging Quade on her shoulder, "he's kind of tall, he's devilishly handsome, sweet, funny, strong, intelligent, he has an odd pallor, he's a little quirky, he's all over the news, and I've known him for years—"

"It's that reprorter, isn't it?" Megamind asked bitterly, crossing his arms over his chest. "I knew it! And he's taking your last name, too, and—" Roxanne smiled as Megamind ranted, and slowly walked over as he went on. When he started making wild gestures with his hands, Roxanne reached up and kissed him.

Megamind's eyes widened, and his hands hung in the air as if he had no idea what to do with them. "—And he has the most vivid green eyes I've ever seen," Roxanne finished.

"So it's the guy from the coffee shop!" Megamind exclaimed, smacking his fist into his palm. Roxanne smiled and smacked Megamind in the back of the head with the hand not holding Quade.

"It's you, stupid," she said, and Megamind's eyes widened again before he smiled.

"You mean—" Roxanne didn't answer. Instead, she threw her free arm around Megamind and held him. He slowly did the same.

"Why don't you come inside?" she asked, breaking away and pulling him with her toward the balcony door. "It's getting dark."

"What about Quade?" he asked, following her. "Won't he need to be checked over?"

"I'm sure he's fine," Roxanne said, setting him into his crib and turning back as Megamind took her in his arms. "You and Minion have never hurt anyone before—why would you start with your son?"

"But I have hurt someone before," Megamind said, clutching Roxanne tightly. "I've hurt you." Roxanne rested her head on Megamind's chest.

"Maybe you did. But I'm sure you never will again."

"Roxanne, do you—love me, again?" Megamind asked, his face turning purple. Roxanne looked up into his startling green eyes and smiled.

"Who said I ever stopped?"

**Author Comments:**

**Awww! :D I think it ended nicely! What do you guys think? Good ending? I think so.**

**The Theme Song for this story is "Flawed Design" by Stabilo.**


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